It's a strange feeling, to have your ring finger obviously checked for signs of marriage.
I'll admit, on this occasion, perhaps it was a little more expected than usual as I was at a wedding dress exhibition and was so obviously taking notes on the wonders of the exhibition. And assumption has it that someone my age would no doubt be there looking for inspiration... that is if I wasn't already married. So she had to check. So she knew how to word her question. Silly really, as historical fashion is enough of a draw for me. But I suppose she wasn't to know that.
It's strange though because I view my marital status as completely irrelevant both to my life, and to society's view of me. I am who I am, an interesting person in my own right. And if you feel the need to check my finger before deciding whether its worth your while to come and talk to me, I wonder whether I'd want to talk to you. But it still holds an immense importance for others and guides (even if only subtly) their expectations and assumptions. Norms that deserve to be tested and challenged.
I'll admit, I delighted that on this occasion the woman's response to my fingers was pure confusion and I had to draw her attention away from the solitaire diamond and heirloom wedding band on the wrong finger to accept a view at odds with the standards in social expectation. I wear old jewellery: my mother's Art-Deco diamond, my grandmother's cross, my great-grandmother's earrings, my great-great-grandmother's wedding band named and dated for prosperity. It just so happens that my mother's solitaire compliments the wedding band quite superbly and raises more questions than I'd ever allow it to answer. You see, for me marriage is very much an after-thought; as my sister puts it, only of consideration when financially advantageous to her overseas life with her partner. While I understand its importance to others, I didn't grow up dreaming of my wedding dress, planning my wedding in detail whilst waiting from 'the one.' It didn't seem necessary... at least not to me.
I'll admit, on this occasion, perhaps it was a little more expected than usual as I was at a wedding dress exhibition and was so obviously taking notes on the wonders of the exhibition. And assumption has it that someone my age would no doubt be there looking for inspiration... that is if I wasn't already married. So she had to check. So she knew how to word her question. Silly really, as historical fashion is enough of a draw for me. But I suppose she wasn't to know that.
It's strange though because I view my marital status as completely irrelevant both to my life, and to society's view of me. I am who I am, an interesting person in my own right. And if you feel the need to check my finger before deciding whether its worth your while to come and talk to me, I wonder whether I'd want to talk to you. But it still holds an immense importance for others and guides (even if only subtly) their expectations and assumptions. Norms that deserve to be tested and challenged.
I'll admit, I delighted that on this occasion the woman's response to my fingers was pure confusion and I had to draw her attention away from the solitaire diamond and heirloom wedding band on the wrong finger to accept a view at odds with the standards in social expectation. I wear old jewellery: my mother's Art-Deco diamond, my grandmother's cross, my great-grandmother's earrings, my great-great-grandmother's wedding band named and dated for prosperity. It just so happens that my mother's solitaire compliments the wedding band quite superbly and raises more questions than I'd ever allow it to answer. You see, for me marriage is very much an after-thought; as my sister puts it, only of consideration when financially advantageous to her overseas life with her partner. While I understand its importance to others, I didn't grow up dreaming of my wedding dress, planning my wedding in detail whilst waiting from 'the one.' It didn't seem necessary... at least not to me.
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